Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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