Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
