i can't believe i had my finger in that
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
