the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
