no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
