You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
