i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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