I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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