is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
