That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize