Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
