if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
