I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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