Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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