What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
