I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
