we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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