God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
