ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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