At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
