I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.