I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.