Having a random hookup so left but love u
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.