like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
