He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
