Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You can't special order awesome
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
