He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
