Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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