She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
