She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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