I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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