yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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