I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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