So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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