I faked an abortion last night.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
