You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
