PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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