I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
