My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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