New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
