No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
