just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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