oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
