Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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