And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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