It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
