she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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