So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
