At least make sure they are 18
Why
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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