I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
