Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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