I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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