Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
