Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
