woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
