I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
