I'm gonna have a badass scar
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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