You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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