I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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