I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
