You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
