Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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