So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
