well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
