he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
